Fonda Richmond Review

This place has a good vibe and pretty great food. If you like Mexican, you shouldn't have a problem with this joint. I give it four out of five Fondas.

La Porchetta Glen Waverley Review

This place was terrible. Pizza was super bland, overpriced and just generally meh.

DO NOT GO.

Father's Office Review

This place is in the CDB. I went there on a Sunday afternoon and had a burger and fries and it was real good. Check it out sometime. Like now! Go now. Have some bloody fries and a burger. They good.

The Quarter Review

This place is in Degraves St. I've been a few times and really like it. Good service, good location, good foods! Decent servings for the price you pay. Just bloody go there and have a great time, yeah!

Po Boys Review

This is a really popular place in Fitzroy and everyone seems to love it but look, I'll be honest- I find it a bit overrated. They are prety much just giving you a bunch of meat and sauce in a bread and charging you a fair bit for it. It's fairly tasty sure, but ehhhh, I dunno. I'm not convinced.

Still, it's a decent place to hang with some mates and slam down some Cokes and chips and shit.

It's pretty alright but by no means amazing.

Kebab House Richmond Review

I went to this place when drunk on the recommendation of Tom Keele (SYN FM) and boy, his recommendation did not disappoint. Despite the big crowd of drunkies gathered in this Swan Street hot spot, I got served quite quickly and kindly. I ordered the mixed kebab and woah mama it was great! A satisfying end to a satisfying night.

HIGHLY RECOMMEND!

Melbourne Zoo Tortilla Stand Review

This place was at the Melbourne Zoo and they charged like 12 bucks for a tortilla and it was pretty bloody average and also we got Cornettos from there but they hadn't stored them properly so the cones were soggy.

The moral of this review is to BRING YOUR OWN FOOD WHEN YOU GO TO THE ZOO PLEASE.

56 Threads Cafe Review

This place is in Kensington and it got like a billion points on Urbanspoon but man, it did not live up to that.
The food was half-decent I guess but shitty service and the place was nothin' special.
Pick up your game, Urbanspoon.

Happy Palace Review

This is an Asian bar in Bourke St which has burgers with cool sounding names. I think one was "Moo Tang Clan" and it was beef or something.

Anyway, the food was pretty good!

And on Saturday night they have $5 spirits!

So get on that shit.

Mad Mex Melbourne Central Review

Mad Mex is probably the best of the fast food Mehican places.

This place is super convenient, great tasting and staff are friendly and efficient.

So if you're near the Melb Central food court and you are like "I want some food", I recommend Mad Mex!

Spinifex Review

This is a cafe in Kensington and I liked it!

They serve breakfast all day and had friendly attentive staff and the food was great and reasonably priced!

I give it a thumbs up!

But my girlfriend said that the last time she went it was real busy and she didn't get served for like half an hour, which is lame, so maybe don't go when it's busy OK? OK.

Los Amates Review

This is a Mehican restaurant on Johnston St and is pretty good!

It's real authentic and shit and the staff are pretty nice and accommodating!

Food tastes real good, but the servings aren't huge and it's a bit pricey considering.

Richmond Hill Cafe and Larder Review

I went to this place on Bridge Rd for breakfast and it was great!

Service was excellent. We were given water very soon after being seated and our glasses were constantly being refilled, they asked if our food was good, and at one stage I knocked my fork onto the floor and a waitress replaced it immediately without being asked!

There was a large variety of meals and the food was real nice and served in decent portions and also there is a CHEESE ROOM!!!

You should go there, it is good.

Shanghai Dumpling House Review

This place is in Tattersalls Lane in the CBD and had pretty decent dumplings but TERRIBLE customer service.

The waitress wouldn't let us get a specific number of dumplings. She was like no, it has to be either 6 or 10 or some shit.

We also weren't offered any water. I requested some, it didn't come. I requested again and was just given the bottle and no glasses.

WILL NOT GO THERE AGAIN!

UPDATE:

Friend of the blog, Ben Vernel has this to say:

"I returned to Shanghai Dumpling House despite Murphy's misgivings. The food tasted good last time, and I can overlook weird service. Well I made a big bloody mistake. Went for the sweet and sour pork and a beer. 2 hours later and I'm spewin'. Because the beer sucked. And the food made me vomit. I am vomiting in between sentences. I was wrong. Murphy was right. 

2 stars."

White Rabbit Record Bar Review

This cafe is in Kensington.

It's pretty good! They have nice staff and books and records (which I've been told are like big CD's which I've been told are like round music things) and there was once a dog there!

The food is pretty decent too.

Soda Rock Diner Review

This place is a '50s style diner on Chapel St. If that isn't enough to get you to come along, then what the hell is wrong with you?

They offer classic '50s American style food and beverages. I actually wasn't crazy about my meal surprisingly but everyone else seemed to enjoy their's. There were a few minor inconveniences, e.g. we had to ask for water and the toilets are behind a door labelled PRIVATE which is confusing but overall the place is a fun dining experience.

The best bit though was when "Shake Your Tail feather" by The Blues Brothers came on, and three of the waitresses came out and DID A DANCE!!!

Even though that song is from the '70s, it was still the best.

Pop Restaurant Review

This place is on Hardware Lane.

We got greeted by an English dude who said to everyone that walked past "Welcome to Hardware Lane" and I was like "You don't own the lane, man." Well I didn't actually say that because I wasn't 100% sure that he doesn't.

The food there was pretty good, but I won't bore you with the positive parts of the Pop Restaurant experience.

HERE ARE THE CONS:

We didn't get water until we requested it.

Food took a long time.

My girlfriend had a dirty glass and when we asked for a new one, the waiter didn't apologise and instead looked up and then walked off with the glass and we were like "WHY DID HE LOOK UP? WHAT IS ABOVE US??"

In conclusion, decent food ruined by crappy customer service.